Top 10 Reasons Women Undergo Rejuvenation Surgery:

1. Smooth Facial Wrinkles.
Botox did the job over four million times in 2006.

2. Remove Unwanted Hair.
Lasers took it off for 887,000 people. More

3. Increase Breast Size.
329,396 women opted for breast augmentation. More think silicone implants rule!

4. Suction fat from the stomach, butt, hips, and thighs.
302,000 people had liposuction in 2006 to reduce problems fatty spots that just will not go away.

5. Remove a bump from the nose.
307,302 people had nose surgery during ’06. Some removed a bump.

6. Fix a Crooked Nose.
Others straightened the schnozzola. Yet others corrected impaired breathing, narrowed the nostrils or fixed a botched rhinoplasty.

7. Remove bags from around the eyes.
233,000 people in 2006 removed the bags under the eyes or nipped drooping eyelids. Some did both.

8. Remove extra skin from the stomach area.
Thanks to the growing acceptance of “Mommy makeovers,” 146,240 tummy tuck cases were done. It’s a big surgery. More.

9. Plump up lips.
At least 25,626 people fattened up their kissers. The trend is growing as more facial injectables are approved for the lips. Lip implants are also available.

10. Improve the appearance of sun-damaged skin.

Isn’t payback a bear? People who spent too much time in the sun include:

• 69,300 dermabrasion patients


• 1,063,423 chemical peel cases


• 816,774 microdermabrasions

(SOURCE: American Society of Plastic Surgeons. Figures represent both men and women. Statistics for 2007 will be released sometimes around March, 2008.)

Top 10 Hospital Chart Goofs

Taken from Actual Hospital Charts Entries
Physicians have a lot to do and make the occasional mistake. Besides, unless you have a Ph.D. in deciphering doctors’ handwriting, how are you supposed to know for sure what notes they have entered onto charts?



Anyhow, here are a few gems pulled from various hospital charts, as best as we could make them out, anyhow.

10. She is numb from her toes down.

9. While in E.R., she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

8. Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

7. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

6. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.



5. The patient refused autopsy.

4. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

3. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

1. Lab tests indicated abnormal lover function.

(Courtesy of Alex Denes, M.D.)


Quote of the day: “You may not be able to read a doctor's handwriting and prescription, but you'll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.” Earl Wilson.