Plastic Surgery Playlists: What Doctors Are Rocking Out To In The OR

In a recent article on iEnhance.com, doctors were asked what songs were on their plastic surgery playlists. Below are the outtakes from the article which feature a full list of songs and artists that some of the doctors surveyed shared.



Dr. Raffi Hovsepian

1. Frank Sinatra - I've Got You Under My Skin
2. Frank Sinatra - My Way
3. Stan Getz & Joao Gilberto - Garota de Ipanema
4. The Rolling Stones - You Can't Always Get What You Want
5. The Rolling Stones - Gimme Shelter

Maurice P. Sherman, MD

1. Neil Diamond - Song Sung Blue, Coming to America, I Am She Said, Love on the Rocks
2. John Denver - Rocky Mountain High, This Old House, Leaving on a Jet Plane
3. Kenny Rogers - Lucille, The Gambler, Coward of the County
4. Willie Nelson - Georgia on My Mind, Don't Let your Sons Grow up to be Cowboys, Angels Flying Too Close to the Ground
5. Johnny Cash - Ring of Fire, A Boy Named Sue, Sunday Sidewalk, Folsom Prison Blues
6. Frank Sinatra - Summer Wind, The Way You Look Tonight, I'll Be Seeing You

Paul Vanek MD, FACS

1. Rick Braum - Body and Soul
2. ZZ Top
3. Sting
4. Chicago
5. Beethoven

Larry H. Pollack MD, FACS

1. Steely Dan - Gaucho
2. Joe Bonamassa - Further On Up The Road
3. Seal - Crazy
4. Van Morrison - Brown-Eyed Girl
5. Keb Mo - Whole Nutha Thang

Michelle Bonness, MD

1. Eva Cassidy - Over The Rainbow, Fields of Gold
2. Andre Bocelli & Laura Pausini - Dare To Live
3. Rush - Trees
4. The Stanley Brothers - Angel Band
5. Frankie Valli - My Eyes Adore You
   
   

Top 10 Cosmetic Surgery Lawsuits

Taking Botox to court is something akin to suing Santa Claus. Almost everybody likes Botox as much as Santa, so how would you get a jury to vote against either one? Only time will tell….about Botox, that is.

Three months before Christmas, Santa is certainly on safe ground.

So nobody is suing Santa. Yet, anyhow. But in January, all bets are off!

Given the number of lawyers looking for something to do, the Momma-put-a-lump-of-coal-in-my-Xmas-stocking class action lawsuit is just around the corner.


(Pamela Moore photo)

Patrick Hudson, M.D., a plastic surgeon in New Mexico, located some insider statistics that show which plastic surgery procedures are most likely to lead to the court house.

Here are the top ten litigated procedures, along with the percentages of actions the procedure draws. More.

1. Nose surgery……………………..22 %
2. Breast reduction………………….17 %
3. Eyelid surgery……………………16%
4. Breast enlargement……………….13%
5. Face lift…………………………… 9%
6. Various………………………… 7%
7. Breast reconstruction…………..… 6%
8. Tummy tuck……………………… 5%
9. Liposuction……………………….. 3%
10. Facial resurfacing………………. …2%

Nose surgery heads the list because it’s the most difficult plastic surgery procedure to learn and perform. More.

Breast reduction involves removing a lot of tissue; however, eyelid surgery is a surprise because it is supposed to be one of the easier procedures to perform. Breast enlargement made its way onto the list because it’s very popular, with 329,000 patients undergoing the procedure in 2007, the most recent year for which statistics exist. A tummy tuck involves a long incision across the abdomen so insurance companies should be thankful the percentage is relatively low. Ditto breast reconstruction.

Hint: If, for some reason, you aren’t satisfied with the outcome of your plastic surgery, two eminent Beverly Hills cosmetic plastic surgeons, Drs. Robert Kotler and Stuart Linder, tell the top five constructive things to do if your procedure does not go well.

Read their blog, Top 5 Remedies for Unsatisfying Plastic Surgery.

Nose Job Complication? Use Honey!

One of the possible complications of a rhinoplasty is a case of sinusitis. But there’s a, uh, sweet cure for it -- honey. Now, plastic surgeons must figure out the best way to spread the stuff inside your schnoz. (Read more about nose job complications.)


(Photo credit: sxc.hu/nkzs)

What’s more, honey in medicine is nothing new -- it has been used since the time of the ancient Egyptians as a natural anti-microbial dressing. Read more.

Back in present time, Canadian researchers, lead by Dr. Joseph G. Marsan at the University of Ottawa, used honey in the lab on the bacteria that cause sinusitis. The problem has always been that super-powerful germs hide inside the nose under a thick covering known as biofilms, which can’t be penetrated by “even the most power anti-microbials,” according to Dr. Marsan.

Plastic Surgery Procedures

Two certain types of honey, Manuka honey from New Zealand and Sidr honey from Yemen, are powerful enough to zap through the biofilm and kill the bacteria. (Read the whole report.)

So will plastic surgery procedures have fewer complications?

The next step: do you sniff, spread, inject, swallow, or hold the honey under your tongue to get it inside your snout? Don’t know yet. Hey, no worries, they’re working on it!

Plastic Surgery is a Star in Burn after Reading

Plastic surgery is often in the movies in Korea; in fact, rejuvenation surgery is a constant theme. (Read our blog about one Korean plastic surgery flick.)

Now, plastic surgery drives the wacky plot of the current highest grossing U.S. movie, Burn After Reading.


John Malkovich stars in Joel and Ethan Cohen’s dark spy comedy, BURN AFTER READING, a Focus Features release. (Photo credit: Focus Features)

The movie starts as Linda, an aging gym instructor (played by Frances McDormand) sees a plastic surgeon and finds her basic rejuvenation is going to require four, “major” procedures. (READ: equal to the annual gross national product of the Isle of Man, the Kingdom of Yap and the Isle of Dogs.)

She decides on a combined breast lift and breast augmentation; liposuction, and a face lift, including rhinoplasty.

Linda’s gym sidekick and fitness instructor, Chad, who is played by Brad Pitt, is a charming but totally self-possessed dolt and all-round airhead.

Because the movie is set in Washington, D.C., a former C.I.A. operative, Osborne, (played by John Malkovich,) has penned a tell-all book about the morons who run the nation’s spy agency. But Osborne loses the book -- written on a CD -- at the gym, aptly named Hardbodies.

Costs of Plastic Surgery

The action then gets a kick in the pants when Linda lays her hands on the tell-all book and assumes it’s real, classified intelligence worth the GNP of several large nations. She and Chad then concoct a dopey scheme to blackmail the author, collect a mountain of cash and pony up for the costs of plastic surgery.

The rest of the movie is a riot of confused identities, deadly pratfalls, mistaken shootings, bedroom intrigues and a handful of bodies that need hiding, along with some stark raving madness, aptly performed by George Clooney who plays Harry, a U.S. Marshal who repeats about 20 times daily that he never fired his gun in 20 years on the job.

Before and After Plastic Surgery Pictures

The movie ends with a C.I.A. big-wig trying to figure out how it all happened, where to hide the bodies, how much payoff cash to allow, and what, if anything, the agency is supposed to have learned from the zaniness.

You’re probably wondering how Linda looks in her before and after plastic surgery pictures. But we are sworn never to give away the endings!

Plastic Surgery Stops Bullies in their Tracks!

When I was in grade school, no self-respecting kid would tolerate a bully, the weakest, whiniest and most puny kids not withstanding.

We weren’t tough guys; it’s just that any boy over the age of oh, 18 months, would get far worse when his dad found out his kid had succumbed to bullies and forked over his lunch money, baseball cap, pocket knife, the family IRA or whatever.

The standing rule was: face up to bullies and fight back, even if there were dozens trying to shake you down.

I think the Father’s Instruction Book had a chapter about one punch on a bully’s nose stopping the lot of them. The one exception about fighting back: if you were in an iron lung, wheelchair or in traction, your punching ability was somewhat restricted, making it understood you might miss the bully’s nose. But you had to fight back. According to The Father’s Instruction Book, there was no shame in fighting back and losing.

But in reality, I never did come across a bully who was put off by one -- or even one dozen -- punches in the nose. I think they became bullies in the first place because they were born without pain receptors. So logic for nine-year-old bullies was simple: “Hey, we can’t feel pain. Let’s just pick on people! So what if they hit us back?”


Your lunch money or your life!
(iynmeyer photo)

However, all of that was before plastic surgery stopped the assaults. In England, a new way of dealing with the problem is by rejuvenating the body parts bullies like to taunt other youngsters about.

Some British surgeons are giving children and teens surgical rejuvenation so that bullies won’t be picking on odd-looking features or making punch-deserving jokes about large noses or ears or small breasts. (Read more.)

(Disclaimer: kids’ lunch money may still be up for grabs, even after plastic surgery!)

Rhinoplasty

*Mr. Douglas McGeorge, head of the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (BAAPS,) recently revealed he had reshaped the nose of one youngster and supplied breast implants for others to stop teasing and bullying. For instance, one younger teen was picked on and bullied at three separate schools, because of an unattractive nose. Her parents were about ready to go “case-o” -- British slang for “going bonkers” -- before hitting on the idea of ponying up 3,500 Pounds (that’s $6121.50 U.S. dollars) for
rhinoplasty. Her parents say the problem was solved.

Breast Implants

Because some bullied teens are still growing, the thoughtful doc has put in expandable breast implants, which help to gradually expand the bosom. (Read about how expandable breast implants work.) Additionally, a nine-year-old in Scotland begged his parents for surgery to rid his face of a mole because school bullies called him “Moley” and beat him up after school because of his appearance. (More about mole removal.)

But the trend is not news. Back in 2006, it was reported that Britain’s National Health Service was springing for cosmetic plastic surgery for bullied youngsters in Scotland. (More.)

What do you think? Will plastic surgery stop U.S. bullies? Or, should we concentrate on pain receptor transplants for bullies?

*In the British Isles, M.D.’s are known as “Mr.”

Plastic Surgery for Pooches

Yearly, some appearance-challenged canine is named top dog in the World’s Ugliest Dog Contest at the Sonoma-Marin Fair in Petaluma, California. (Read more.)

Gus, a Chinese Crested, won for 2008 even though he has had a rough row to hoe in life. He has lost one leg to disease, one eye in a cat fight, a handful of teeth due to chewing on countless bones, and a furry coat due to heredity; after all, he is a hairless Chinese crested dog. Gus was simply born to be as ugly as a mud fence.

Nonetheless, his owners think Gus, pictured below, is precious.


Gus relaxing at home
(iStock photo)

2007’s winner was even more revolting. Also a Chinese Crested, Elwood, pictured below, won that year, perhaps because he is even more crested and has even less hair than Gus. You have to admit that when it comes to looks, Elwood is also just a real dog.


Elwood, 2007’s Top Ugly Dog
(Canada News Photo)

A Plastic Surgeon for Dogs

Anyhow, there’s somebody we would like Gus and Elwood to meet -- Brazilian doctor Vet Elgado Brito, a big proponent of pet plastic surgery.

To the Brazilian way of thinking, if you make people beautiful, hey, why not make their “animal companions” beautiful, too? Works for me! (As long as the creature is house broken; there’s no way that beauty alone makes up for, well, you’ve got the picture by now.)

Botox and Breast Augmentations

Dr. Brito has used Botox to straighten inverted doggy eyelashes so that Fido’s eyeball is not irritated. Among other cosmetic surgery, the South America doc has even performed canine breast augmentation by tightening mammillae of female dogs before beauty contests so that the dogs could take part in the type of contests in which good looks -- and not vile features -- are judged. (Read more about Dr. Brito.)


The owners of this Sharpei wanted Botox
to remove the dog’s wrinkles
but could not afford 1,500 vials of Botox.
(iStock.xchng photo)

But if you look closely enough, others are making unsightly animals more attractive, too.

Rhinoplasty and Eyelid lifts

The Animal Medical Center of Southern California requires a medical reason for cosmetic treatments on animals; nonetheless, the work often results in an eyelift, facelift, rhinoplasty or abdominoplasty, a procedure we Homo Sapiens fondly call a “tummy tuck.” However, liposuction is out, partly because dogs don’t mind being fat.

If your “animal companion” is a Pug, Bulldog or a Boston terrier, breeds in which breathing problems are common, the mutt may be eligible for rhinoplasty. Sharpeis and Chows often have a congenital defect that make their eyelids roll inwards, causing the eye winkers to rub the eye, perhaps resulting in scratches. The solution? A canine style eyelid lift.

Lip Augmentation

And there is the heart-warming case of Feznick, a 75-pound gray kangaroo who lives at a farm for Hollywood animal actors. Feznick was bitten on the face by his neighbor, a wolf and fellow actor when he, Feznick, poked his snout into the next cage. That left the ‘Roo with a snarling lip and totally unsuitable for his close-ups. So, back in 2006, a vet named Dr. Wolff (really!) repaired Feznick’s lip with a little cosmetic surgery described much like the human procedure, “except with a lot more hair.” (Read more.)


This Kangaroo isn’t Feznick (we could not afford
his picture!) but another Kangaroo who is available
for movies and commercials. (His day job is being an
attraction at a petting zoo.)

Sarah Jessica Parker’s Missing Mole

It’s not as exciting, say, as the “Did Hillary Clinton may have plastic surgery?” debate, but mole removal is a huge topic among devotees of plastic surgery. The Internet is searched thousands of times daily for practitioners who know their way around laser mole removal, along with the other removal techniques.

So when Sarah Jessica Parker, star of “Sex and the City,” had that BB-size mole taken off her chin. The only real question is: why now?

New York Observer writer Rex Reed once observed: “That growth on her face just gets bigger with every close-up, and in the full-length movie version of ‘Sex and the City,’ it’s so distracting you can’t concentrate on anything else. It’s not a beauty mark.” More.


Sarah Jessica Parker’s mole, left, and after its removal.
(Zuma Press.com/AP photo)

Top 10 Most Outrageous Plastic Surgery Items

In any new industry, many novelty items are developed early, and quickly put into use by adoring fans and then go the way of the Dodo bird.

For instance, cars once had little ovens attached to their exhaust manifolds for cooking while you travel. When steam powered cars were popular, just after the turn of the 19th century, one thoughtful auto maker installed a steam-powered organ as a pricey option in the backseat.

But, alas, roadside restaurants came into vogue, eliminating the need for cooking while driving and car radios made any type of traveling musical instrument unneeded.

You can find the same trend taking place in rejuvenation surgery worldwide.

So, if you don’t look quick, these top 10 plastic surgery novelty items may be gone before you know it:

1. Breast Massage Robot

(Inventorspot.com illustration.)

Its purpose doesn’t seem real clear, but this machine from China purports to automatically massage the breasts of the person sitting in it. One of its supposed uses is to relieve the post-op pain associated with breast augmentation.

2.Cool Mask

(Aqueduct Medical photo)

Sure, you could do the job with a bag of frozen peas flopped on rejuvenated eyelids or a freshly lifted mid-face, but it’s much cooler -- both stylistically and thermally -- to circulate cold water through a high-tech device to remove any surgical sting. Besides that, what’s wrong with going incognito? Do you want everybody to know about your surgery? The incognito thing apparently worked well for Zorro and the “Phantom of the Opera”; let’s just hope bank robbers don’t start using them!

3.Patented Baldness Technique

(Inventorspot.com illustration)

Another invention registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office lays claim to the technique we now know as the “combover” to conceal baldness. Sure, you could call it The Donald Trump, but that name is also trademarked and copyright protected. And woe betide he or she who misuses that moniker! The Donald would hire you just for the pleasure of firing you!

4.Traveling Hair Scrap Book

(Academy of Natural Sciences photo)

While we’re on the topic of hair, one thing every school child has always wanted to see: 200-year-old locks of hair from the first 12 U.S. presidents. Those snippets were taken long before anybody ever thought of hair restoration or, apparently, hair dye. For instance, George Washington’s sample is brown-gray, while Thomas Jefferson’s locks are reddish-gray. Titles weren’t exactly nailed down yet either. The second U.S. president was known as “His Excellency, John Adams.” Monroe, John Quincy Adams, and Jackson were also “His Excellencies.”

5.Roll CIT device

(Des Fernandes, M.D. photo)

If you perceive this to be a shrunken model of the lawn device that rolls across your grass to create drainage holes, you’ve got the concept. But this gizmo is approved for home use; you just roll this across your face as it is slathered with some vitamin A and other minerals. The Roll CIT (“Collagen Induction Therapy”) apparently replaces the need for chemical peels, dermabrasion or laser ablation. The device makes hundreds of tiny needle holes to allow fresh collagen to flow to the surface, thereby removing sun damages, fine lines, wrinkles, acne scars, and other facial marring.

6.Vacuum Pump Breast Augmentation

(Daily Mirror photo)

Above, notice we’ve carefully airbrushed the model’s actual, ah, mammary glands to make this fit for family viewing. The vacuum device -- basically two plastic domes connected to a suction machine --- claims it can replace surgical breast enlargement. But you had better have some time on your hands. Apparently, all m’lady has to do is wear it for 10 hours a day for 10 weeks. Presto! A/B cups morph into C/D cups, sans knife, surgeon, recovery period, or great expense. And not to worry! It’s all connected to a micro computer that won’t make you too large. The system is advertised in Britain at 790 pounds, which amounts to $1,539 U.S. smackers. Read more.

7.Lip Pumper

Not only Hans and Franz from the old Saturday Night Live “vanted to pump you up.” Yet another plastic surgery device -- pictured above -- claims it can pump up your actual kissers. And you don’t have to use it for 10 hours a day to get lip augmentation!

8.Breast Implants for Tattoos

(Remember, we are not making this up.) But the leading technique of getting real curves for his tattoo of a woman, turned out to be -- no pun intended -- a bust. Seems a non-surgeon put the tiny implants under the tattoo but left behind some nasty superbugs that created a raging infection. Plus, one of the implants, not having much wiggle room, broke under the skin. Result? More infection! Kinda makes you think Dodo birds have not really gone away.

9.The Plastic Surgery Freeway

The Beverly Hills Freeway has been built to ease and speed the flow of traffic in and through Beverly Hills (the world Mecca of Plastic Surgery.) So, while you’re zipping along at 70 mph, you can easily see the names of some of the city’s favorite off-ramps, like “Tummy Tuck Drive” and “Liposuction Place.” Most people just call it the Plastic Surgery Freeway.

Okay, thanks for bearing with us but you’ve been had! (It’s really a picture of a refrigerator magnet.) While everything else here is 100 percent true, we did make this one up. However, do you think it’s possible that someday we might build a Plastic Surgery Freeways in other hot spots like Miami, Manhattan, Brazil, Korea, Nashville, and Columbus, Ohio?

10.Plastic Surgery Glue

Why go see a plastic surgeon when you can just pick up some droopy or wrinkled skin and glue it in back in place? (Is this for real?) And, hey, don’t you just love that it works to the last drop? I always get so miffed when that final drop of anything lets go!

Top Ten “No-No” Herbs in Plastic Surgery

So you’re going in for a nip ‘n’ tuck to rejuvenate some sagging, drooping whatevers. Good for you! It will help you look and feel better.

But before you go under the knife, here’s a pearl of wisdom. (Not from me, of course; the information comes from some very smart doctors!)

Did you know that taking herbs can cause trouble during your surgery?

Sure, herbs are 100% natural but, hey, so are snake bites! And, to borrow a line from George Carlin, any time you’re talking about snake venom, all you need to know is: it’s bad for ya!

Insider hint: never confuse the word “safe” with “natural.”

Insider hint number 2: no known herb can create a breast augmentation, a face lift or remove fat from your body. But you’ll see tons of ads that promise just that. (Read more about overblown ads in cosmetic plastic surgery).

Turns out herbs are powerful medicines that vary in strength depending on if you consume the leaf or the root and the time of year the herb was picked.


Herb medley
SXC Photo

We mention all this because Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery, the leading professional journal for plastic surgeons, recently found that 55 percent of plastic surgery patients use herbs while only 24 percent of the general public take them. Read more.

You want to quit any herb at least several weeks before your surgery, according to top plastic surgeons Robert Kotler, M.D. in Beverly Hills and New Mexico plastic surgeon Patrick Hudson, M.D.

Surgeons bellyache because patients often forget to mention the herbs they take, thinking it makes no difference to their medical histories. And then things can get complicated or go south in the operating room (O.R.) when other meds interact with the herbs.

Here’s the list of verboten herbs before your plastic surgery procedure

1. Ginseng

Used to enhance energy levels, ginseng in the O.R. can cause high blood pressure or a racing heart if combined with some of the medicines used by the anesthesiologist. Ginseng can also slow blood clotting.


Sweet herbs
(Bura photo)

2. Ephedra (aka ma huang)

Consumed in many diet aids, ephedra increases blood pressure and, during surgery, may increase it too much when combined with common medicines.

3. St. John’s Wort

Used to treat depression and anxiety, St John’s Wort can prolong the effects of some narcotics and anesthetics. It also interacts with Demerol, a prescription pain reliever.

4. Ginko Biloba

Taken to increase circulation, ginko can cause excess bleeding in the operating room.

5. Feverfew

Often used to treat migraines, feverfew can also increase bleeding during surgery.

6. Garlic

Usually taken to lower blood fat levels, garlic can also cause too much bleeding during an operation.


Garlic chives
(jkingsbeer photo)

7. Licorice

Many people with stomach woes take licorice. But during surgery, it can cause liver problems and water retention.

8. Glucosamine

Consumed to ease joint distress, glucosamine contains chemical elements that mimic human insulin and may cause high blood sugar while you are under the knife.

9. Chondroitin

Often taken as a folk remedy for bone arthritis, chondroitin can cause excess bleeding if combined with doctor-prescribed blood thinning medications.

10. Valerian

Valerian acts as a mild sedative when you take it at home. But in the operating room, it can increase the effect of anesthesia and cause a deeper sleep.

Other herbs often mentioned in the same breath as “surgical complications” include echinacea, glucosamine, goldenseal, melatonin, kava and milk thistle.

Just remember: herbs. It’s bad for ya!

What’s Your Favorite Herb?

NEXT: Top Ten Fat-Sucking Tunes

Does Computer Gaming = Top Plastic Surgery Skills?

It’s true! According to a new study, if you are a whiz at video games, you may make a better surgeon…at least the type of surgeon who performs “keyhole” surgery.

Keyhole surgery? What is that? Some kind of surgery by locksmiths?


“Keyhole” surgery
keyhole.uk.co. photo

Nope, it’s a type of surgery done through an opening in the skin as tiny as a keyhole. It’s a delicate type of work because you have to watch what you’re doing inside the body on a television monitor. (Read about the top 8 “keyhole surgeries” used in plastic surgery.)

But if you are into shooting games, join the Army Rangers instead and forget about surgery. These computer skills obviously lead to a helping profession.

Here’s how they found out about it: Scientists at Beth Israel Medical Center in New York City studied 33 surgeons who actually had to audition for the test by playing three different video games for up to 25 minutes. (We’re not making this up; read the actual scientific report.)


Today, video games!
Tomorrow, operating rooms!
(Songbird photo via SXC)

Next, the testers watched each surgeon for one and one-half days while the doc was doing real surgery. Can you imagine sewing something together while watching and guiding a needle and its thread on a T.V. screen? Got a better idea now why plastic surgeons have to stay in school for so many years? (Read more about the training of plastic surgeon.)

Results? Nine young surgeons who played video games at least three hours a week made 37 percent few mistakes and worked 27 percent faster than 15 others surgeons who never played video games at all.


lapsurg.com.au photo

The same nine surgeons also scored 42 percent higher overall on the surgical tests.

The study, printed in the February, 2008, Archives of Surgery concluded: “Video games may be a practical teaching tool to help train surgeons.”

So….next time you hear a parent or teachers yell at a kid for spending too much time video gaming, tell the critic to cool it ‘cause that kid just might someday become a top surgeon!


Tell us what you have learned from playing video games!

Guys: Forget My Hair! Do my Spider Veins Instead!

A chance for more evolved males after all?

When the American Academy of Cosmetic Surgery (AACS) was rounding up annual statistics, they made an amazing discovery: The standard treatment for spider and varicose veins now ranks as the number 2 leading cosmetic dermatological surgery.

And get this: Since 2002, guys who want their spider veins removed via sclerotherapy have increased 226 percent. Women wanting the same procedure have only increased by 3.5 percent. Read more.

Why? Because more men are letting their noggins remain bald and shiny while they tackle (I just had to get an action verb in there somewhere!) their spider and varicose veins. Read more.


Spider veins -- dude version
(AAD photo)

But some skeptics note that the cost of hair transplants has increased to $1296, while sclerotherapy decreased by $103.

You don’t suppose guys are springing for the cheaper procedure, do you? If so, maybe the next entry about bald heads means more and more guys are becoming less insecure about their hair. Hey, far stranger things have happened.

For Totally Bald Heads

Among the many new products designed to spiff up personal appeal, we could not help but notice a new product, Bald Guyz, for men who have -- often by choice -- not a single strand of hair on their heads.

What does Bald Guyz do, you ask? Easy! It cleans the bare skull. Or, at least the bare skin attached to a skull shorn of its curly locks. Makes your head as smooth as a baby’s bottom, as it were.


Bald Guyz photo

And just in the nick of time!

Actually, many hair-challenged guys choose to shave their heads daily because a totally bald head is seen by some as more masculine than a state of partial baldness (think Mr. Clean and actor Yul Brenner.)

All the while, millions of others yearn with all their hearts for some hair to grace their bare pates.


Wikipedia photo

But what could a guy do? H-m-m-m-m-m-….thinking…thinking…..nope, it’s too tough; I’m stumped.

Oh wait, maybe there is something! Perhaps somebody who wants some hair on his head could…..wait for it……get a hair transplant! Lots of dermatologists and plastic and cosmetic surgeons perform the procedure. (Read more about hair transplant procedures.)

If that doesn’t work, there are always the clubs Bald R Us or Bald-Headed Men of America. Birds of a feather and all.

Are You Healthy Enough for Plastic Surgery

There you are, at the office of your favorite plastic surgeon. Now, he’s telling you must go get some type of medical clearance for that asthma or high blood pressure you’ve got.

"Hey, what gives? I’m here for a nose job!"

Tuck ‘n’ Stitch tell why you must show you’re healthy enough for cosmetic plastic surgery and why a physical exam before plastic surgery is a good idea.

Tattoo with a Breast Implant: It’s ba-a-a-a-a-ck!

We hate to say we told you so but, hey, did we not tell you so?

According to alert reader (and author) Dr. DiSaia writing in his most excellent blog Truth in Cosmetic Surgery., the man-with-the-breast-implant-tattoo-on-his-leg has suffered a medical setback.

For newer alert readers who have just signed onto our own most excellent blog, a January column here told about the top eight most far out uses ever for breast implants.

Number 7 told of a tattoo aficionado (that means he digs them a lot!) who inked a busty woman on his lower leg.

Here’s our blog post from January 9, 2008:


Above, Lane’s right leg. He is editor of
a body art and tattoo magazine in Edmonton, Alberta.

Thinking that a 2-D tat was too tame, Canadian Lane Jensen
asked a tattoo artist and wannabe surgeon to open his leg and surgically
implant tiny breast implants in the anatomically correct position of a
buxom woman tattoo. (Note: Do not try this at home. While these people were
totally untrained professionals working in a dangerous environment, they were lucky!
Lane still has his leg which is a miracle in itself!) And, hey, this is no time for quips about him being a breast-or-leg man!

(We don’t make these things up! Even if we did who could dream up a chesty leg?)

According to TMZ.com and the good Dr. DiSaia, the tiny implant burst, probably causing a nasty infection. That’s my guess judging from the angry red slash on the far left side of his leg.

Nonetheless, we wish him good health and remind him of the classic observation in Buddhism: “If you lose, don’t lose the lesson!”

I suppose the lesson here would be something along the lines of letting the pros do the surgery? “Pro,” in this case, meaning somebody who actually graduated from medical school.

The good news? He’s got his leg! So far, anyhow.

If you’re up for a story on what else can go wrong in plastic surgery, read more. (AFTER lunch, that is; the article is not what you would call appetite enhancing.)

A Gecko Foot for Incisions

Surgery helped by a lizard? Ants used for stitches?

Ever wonder how a Gecko hangs from a ceiling all day by one toe?

Turns out, if you look really, really close, a Gecko has millions of hairy, sticky thingies on the bottom of each foot that allows the creature to hang onto almost anything. It even sticks under water.


Gold dust day Gecko.

So what’s that got to do with plastic surgery, you ask? Good question.

Scientists have developed a new bandage that works the same way as a Gecko’s foot. Imagine getting some plastic surgery that has a long scar -- like a tummy tuck -- and then showing people how your skin is being held together by a bandage inspired by a lizard.

The bandage can be folded and refolded, wrapped around a hole in a bladder or used to reseal a segment of intestine after surgery. Read more.

As for ants, it gets even more weird: Certain ants have been used to suture wounds without stitches. The skin on either side of a wound is brought together and the ants induced to bite so that their jaws hold the skin together.

Then the ants are decapitated leaving their head attached with jaws clamped tight until the wound heals!

Of course, that’s mostly used in jungle medicine. Your basic plastic surgeon will probably stick to stitches and needles.

Way down South in Dolly

Dolly Parton has a nickname for her, er, generous bosom. Her inspiration?

Remember the invasion of Iraq four years ago?

When the U.S. Army and Air Force get serious about their work, they refer to hundreds of bombs going off on enemy targets as “Shock and Awe.”



Country singer Dolly Parton, always known for her huge bust, nicknamed them, not something logical like “Massive-Way-Too-Huge-for-a-Tiny-Frame-Implants” but, you guessed it, “Shock and Awe.”

I just hope no explosives are hidden in there!

(Like most Southerners, Dolly is also outspoken. She once said: “I wanted to be the first woman to burn her bra, but it would have taken the fire department four days to put it out!”)

It turns out Dolly is a-belly achin’ bout them thar huge knockers a-cause they is a-hurtin’ her pore ol’ back cuz she is a-carryin’ them big ole things ‘round the whole durn day.

(I’m allowed to mock Tennessee accents because I was born there and used to sound just like Sergeant York as a child, uh, that is, I mean, as a little bitty young-un.)


(jzlomek photo)
This is my cousin, my uncle and my
grandfather. He played the Hillbilly boy
guitar player in the movie, “Deliverance.”

Read more about ol’ Dolly: http://celebritycosmeticsurgery.blogspot.com/2008/02/dolly-partons-shock-and-awe.html

However, if you are bosom challenged, there is help. Read more about breast augmentation through the belly button!

Top Ten Famous Quotes about Plastic Surgery

1. “Plastic surgeons are always making mountains out of molehills.”
Dolly Parton

2. “A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.”
Joan Rivers

3. “I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.”
Rita Rudner

4. “She got her good looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.”
Groucho Marx

5. “I definitely believe in plastic surgery. I don't want to be an old hag. There's no fun in that.”
Scarlett Johansson

6. “It wasn't a fortune. It cost me the price of one-and-a-half Hermes handbags.”
Anne Robinson
British TV personality, “Queen of Mean” on her cosmetic surgery.

7. “A press agent created the legend that I was in an air crash during the war, and my face had to be put back together by plastic surgery. Well, if it is a 'bionic face,' why didn't they do a better job?”
Jack Palance

8. “Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.”
Dorothy Parker

9. “Pretty is something you're born with. But beautiful, that's an equal opportunity adjective.”
Author Unknown

10. “I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.”
Joan Rivers

Plastic Surgery and the Dating Scene

Some of the “Milestone” events for getting plastic surgery are often for:

*Weddings



If the happy couple is lucky, the pictures will be handed down for generations. (The other 50 percent will eventually cut their despicable ex out of the wedding photos and go on from there.)

So everybody -- especially the mother of the bride -- wants to look sharp. (Here’s a website that follows wedding participants who spring for a pre-nuptial nip or tuck: Lovegevity.)

*Reunions



Suddenly, it’s 25 years later and your old classmates are taking turns telling you how great you look. The 1978 class babe (or stud) is staring at you, wondering how did I ever let her (or him) get away? Considering the dog the high school babe is currently with, you can bet your bottom dollar the former flame is kicking her-or-himself. And you? Lots of cosmetic plastic surgery. Priceless! Read more about plastic surgery and reunions.



*Returning to Dating

(Or, Finding the Sweaty T-shirt that Trips your Trigger!)

So, after many decades, you’ve freed yourself from the old ball and chain. Plus, the kids are off to college and the nest is empty. (Except between jobs and bad marriages, of course.)

Next big step: You’ve signed up with an online dating service and are looking for Mr. or Ms. Right, the person you should really be with. But you also find a big Gulp! stuck in your throat. You’re nervous about your heretofore ignored appearance so you visit a plastic surgeon.

For guys, it’s usually getting the love handles taken off, maybe a little gynecomastia surgery, perhaps an eyelid lift. New-to-dating women usually ask about a tummy tuck, other breast procedures and a face lift.

However, a new dating service thinks perhaps you can skip the knife altogether. Instead, they want you to sniff your new love interest and find the smell pleasant. Even if no soap and shower has been applied! More.

ScientificMatch.com takes a dab of your DNA and, uses a process with a tongue twisting name, “Major Histocompatibility Complex.” The technology then finds a match whose scent is pleasing to you. Of course, the other likes and dislikes are included in your profile which excludes people with scents like yours.

It’s based on real science.

In one famous study, women preferred the smell of T-shirts from men whose genes were most different from their own. Really! In exact, proper scientific language, it’s known as the “Sweaty T-shirt Experiment.” Read more.



All you do for the DNA test is rub the inside of your cheek with a cotton swab.

(Sorry, gals, nothing can be done about the smell of the gene that causes football watching all weekend. And, guys, researchers are still working on locating that mysterious female shopping gene which appears to be connected to the shoe-buying gene.)



Declares Eric Holzle, ScientificMatch.com founder: “DNA matching is the chemistry of our service while values matching is the heart.

“When you share chemistry with someone, you’ll love their natural body fragrance,” he says. “They’ll smell sexier than other people.”

And, hey, don’t sweat it if you sign up. First dates do not require wearing on old T-shirt

What are your best first date stories?

Surgical Sponges -- Phone Home!

Don’t you just hate it when a surgical team forgets and leaves something inside you? Maybe it causes some rattling or that uncomfortable bloated feeling? Actually, it’s very serious.

A fix is coming -- at least for overlooked surgical sponges. A new high-tech system phones home when a sponge is used on a patient during the operation and again when the sponge is removed.

Not only that, but the device knows who put the sponges in and will tattle if one gets left behind!


Asterisc21 photo

Loyola University Health System in Illinois observed about 1500 cases every year where an object was left in the patient after surgery. Overlooked sponges are most commonly left behind because they soak up blood and look like part of the patient’s body.

So how does a dumb sponge call home? A tiny cell phone?

Nope, barcodes!

O.R. staffs now have sponges with a unique bar code attached to each. Just like when you’re buying groceries, somebody on the surgical team waves the sponges in front of another high-tech thingamajig that registers each sponge, its number, the time and the user. The clever machine knows who used the sponge because it reads the person’s bar coded badge!



Then, at the end of the operation, the device announces in a loud voice -- and displays on a bright screen -- if any sponges are missing and may be left behind. Otherwise, the patient might be inclined to call his attorney-at-you-know-what!

More bar codes for other surgical tools are coming next.

Read more:

Do you have a favorite O.R. story?

Top Ten Things You Should Never Say to a Plastic Surgeon

1. I’m 45; Make me Look I did at 20.

A plastic surgeon can turn the clock back a little but
can’t reset your appearance to two decades ago. Read more.

2. Write me a ‘Script for Some Extra Pain Killers

Basically, don’t ask a plastic surgeon to break the law. Sure, you can have a prescription for a few pain killers, sleep aids or tranquilizers in connection with a surgery, but don’t try to cop a major score. More.

3. Make me Look like Angelina Jolie (Brad Pitt, etc. etc.)

One of the ways a plastic surgeon has of knowing you know the meaning of “realistic expectations” in plastic surgery is to exclude those who want to look like celebrities. The whole idea is to make the best possible version of you.

4. I want a Face Lift because (my wife divorced me; my husband is seeing his secretary; my dog died) and want to feel better.

Plastic surgeons are trained to screen out people who want the surgery for the wrong reasons. So having surgery when you are going through a divorce or some other deeply troubling event is usually out. More.

5. Why Do You Charge So Much for only Two incisions?

If you are in the office of a plastic surgeon who is board certified in plastic surgery, otolaryngology (head and neck surgery) or facial plastic surgery, it requires anywhere from four to seven years of extra training after he or she receives the M.D. degree. Not everybody has the smarts, coordination and determination to get there. More.

6. I Want Liposuction because I don’t like Working Out.

Actually, you’ll have the best results if you can get off the coach, watch what you eat and work out. Your surgeon may even tell you to go home and lose weight before he’ll give you liposuction, which is not a method of weight control. More.

7. I Want to Get off the Table Immediately Afterwards

If you want an invasive procedure, you must show the surgeon you have time to take care of yourself and let your body heal after surgery. More.

8. I Sued My Last Plastic Surgeon!

Among people for whom rejuvenation surgery is probably not right are some with an odd condition (body dysmorphic disorder) in which no amount of plastic surgery is enough. And no results are ever good enough. So they file ungrounded lawsuits. More.

9. Help Me Fudge a Health Insurance Report, Doc

See #2. Besides, almost all plastic surgery is paid up front.
Very few procedures are covered by insurance. More.

10. Don’t Bother checking my Blood Pressure (Glucose level; EKG reading, etc.etc.)

No way around it: you gotta be healthy enough for plastic surgery. Want to wind up like Donda West? If you have a chronic health condition like high blood pressure, diabetes or heart woes, the only way your plastic surgeon can go forward is to check your medical tests. Read more about why your plastic surgeon does not do the health checks him-or-herself.

Top 10 Extreme Plastic Surgeries

1. Belly Button Surgery

Some people with “innies” want “outies” and vice-versa. Technically, the operation is known as an umbilicoplasty. Read more.

2. Toe-Besity Surgery



Got tubbie toes? Stubby toes? Slim them! More.

3. Eyebrow Transplants

There’s no woe like skimpy or no eyebrow woe! More.

4. Foot Facelift



A toe may be too long or short; maybe it’s the dreaded “high heel foot” condition or corns, bunions or hammertoes. Solution? Anything but sensible shoes. Puh-lease! Better: a toe tuck and foot facelift to look good in sandals.

5. Ear on the Forearm

You don’t see a lot of this but one “performance” artist
implanted a more-or-less real human ear on his forearm. Something to do
with seeing what he is hearing? I don’t get it either but, hey,
today’s avant garde is tomorrow’s ho-hum. More.


This is not Photoshopped. The ear
was grown from human cells in a
Petri dish in a university lab.

6. Rib Removal

I always thought this was taken care of in the Garden of Eden. Anyhow, some women who want an hourglass shaped figure have two or three ribs removed. But the patient also must have a tummy tuck (abdominoplasty) for the whole concept to come together. More.


A patient shows her new waist just after her surgery, left,
and after things have healed better.


7. The Human Barbie

Sarah Burge, 46, an English woman, has had 26 plastic surgeries over the last 20 years, trying to make herself look like Barbie. It’s actually quite a lonely life because there is no Ken in sight. Any volunteers, guys? It has only cost Sarah $351,775 to get a certain Barbie look. So far, that is. More.

8. Plastic Surgery for Kangaroos.



Feznick, a popular Hollywood movie star, (well, in roles that call for a kangaroo,
anyhow,) was bit by one of his neighbors where a lot of acting animals live. Hey,
this is California, you know! Because his close-ups would be ruined, he had
plastic surgery on his snout. More

9. Michael Jackson

Need we say more? Some plastic surgeons figure 10 to 15 surgeries on that nose. More

10.Jocelyn Wildenstein

Ha! You didn’t think we could top Michael Jackson, huh? Jocelyn’s bill for plastic surgery -- no wait, make that bad plastic surgery -- is said to be over 3 million dollars, thanks to a multi-million dollar inheritance. More.


Jocelyn, aka “The Cat Woman”